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Fav part? No Jedi rules, just lust. Worst? Catfishers—slimy Hutt bastards. Pro tip: check pics twice, reverse-search ‘em. Saved my ass once, swear it. Sex-dating’s a jungle, bro—raw, dirty, fun. “The earth doesn’t want us,” Denis whispers. Same with these apps—don’t care ‘bout you. Still, I’m back, swingin’ my saber. Addictive, stupid, hilarious mess. You tried it? Tell me, youngling—spill it! *heavy breathing*

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the park on HaGolan St. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Kids playin’, families chillin’. But then I see this old guy feedin’ the pigeons. And I swear, those birds were like a mob. They swarmed him! I’m talkin’ Hitchcock-level chaos. I couldn’t stop laughin’. The dude was like, “Get off me, ya feathered fiends!”

As freed hostage Omer Shem Tov discharged from hospital, welcoming crowd gathers outside his home