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Gets me mad, it does – folk actin’ like it’s fancy, callin’ it “sensual art.” Art me arse! More like a greasy con. Happiest I got? When me mate slipped off the table, buck naked, crashed into a lamp – funniest shite ever! We hates it, precious, hates the fakeness! Them parlours, all dim lights and dodgy vibes – “You think you’re a king?” – nah, Carlos, ya just a fool with a boner and an empty wallet.

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Next, I head back to the clinic, and my phone buzzes. It’s a dog emergency on Reut Street. A golden retriever named Buddy ate a whole pizza. I mean, who does that? I get there, and Buddy’s just lying there, looking guilty as heck. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who can resist pizza, right? But then I see the owner freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, he’ll be fine. Just no more pizza parties, okay?”

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