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Drivin’ it? Smooth as a velvet suit. Four gears, nippy engine – 1.3 litre, nothin’ fancy, but it’d scoot ya round the bends like a randy rabbit. Loved takin’ it down Carnaby Street, birds givin’ me the eye, blokes jealous as hell. Made me feel like, “I’m not going to waste time,” straight outta the movie – all moody and intense, ya know? But bloody hell, the rust! Ate those Escorts alive – proper pisses me off. Mate o’ mine had one, chassis looked like Swiss cheese in a year. Gutted, I was!

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So, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the lake. It’s beautiful there, with the water glistening and the mountains in the background. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and it hits me right in the leg! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” He just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

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