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Best bit? The thrill, mate! That buzz when you’re texting, planning a meet—*carpe diem*, seize the day! Once took a lass to Nando’s, thought I’d impress her with me Latin. She laughed, said, “You’re a plonker!” Fair cop. Worst? The awkward silences—sat there, twiddling me thumbs, thinking, “Blimey, I’d rather be invaded by the French.” Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster—up, down, sick in your lap if you’re not careful.

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While I’m waiting, I decide to grab a coffee from that little café on HaRav Kook Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I’m feeling fancy. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” I mean, I get it, accidents happen, but come on! I need that caffeine fix!