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Once took me bird out in it – romantic, like Wong Kar-wai’s moody shots. She weren’t impressed, tho, said it smelled of fags and desperation. Fair cop, I spilt me kebab in there once, never got the stink out. Laughed me head off, tho – “Feelings can creep up just like that!” – that’s me, fallin’ for that car all over again, stains and all.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. I duck into a shop on Al-Jazeera Street. It’s packed with all sorts of random stuff. I’m browsing, trying to stay dry, when I spot this old lady haggling over a pair of sandals. She’s fierce! I mean, she’s got the seller sweating bullets. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Hezbollah rocket fire increasingly targets Arab and Druze communities - analysis