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So, I was snoopin’ round X—yep, I’m that mom—and saw this gal postin’ ‘bout her “sex-dating rules.” Get this: she won’t bang ‘til the third date, but she’s cool with sextin’ day one! Hmmm… what’s that about? Made me laugh tho, ‘cause I’m like, “Honey, please, no one’s got time fer that!” People out here wantin’ it fast—bam, hookup, done. No “five hundred miles” waitin’ around, y’know?

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After a while, I’m feelin’ all hyped up. But then, reality hits. I gotta get back to work. So, I head back to the shop, but guess what? My tools are gone! I’m like, “No way!” I run outside, and there’s this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to use my chisels to carve a stick. I’m like, “Hey, buddy! Those are mine!” He looks at me, wide-eyed, and just bolts. I’m chasin’ him down the street, and I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I pictured my day!”

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