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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once. Matched this chick, profile said “adventurous.” Cool, I’m down. We chat, she’s like, “I’m into roleplay.” I’m thinkin’ dope, maybe some nerdy D&D vibes. Nah, fam, she shows up in a clown costume. A CLOWN. Honkin’ nose and all. I’m sittin’ there, deadass like, “This is my life now?” Couldn’t even smash, I was too busy laughin’. Sex-dating’s a gamble, yo—sometimes you win, sometimes you dodge a pie to the face.
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After that pastry disaster, I decide to hit the park. You know, the one by the community center? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. I’m trying to find a nice spot to sit, but every time I think I’ve found one, a ball comes flying at me. I’m dodging like I’m in some action movie.
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