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Oh, and funniest shit? Mate of mine swore his escort was a cop undercover. Paranoid as hell, reckonin’ she’d cuff him mid-shag. “Victory has defeated you!” I cackled for days. Probs bullshit, but who knows? Escort’s full of surprises, like a favela shootout. Keeps ya on ya toes.

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After that, I’m walking down Oak Street, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches. Like, what?! I’m standing there, half in awe, half terrified. I’m thinking, “Dude, one slip and you’re toast!” But he’s nailing it. I’m clapping, and he winks at me. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m your biggest fan!”