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Now, here’s what gets me mad—the Escort got no respect! People call it basic, boring—screw that! It wasn’t boring, it was honest! Not like these overpriced SUVs cloggin’ the roads today—billionaires should not exist, and neither should their gas-guzzlin’ monstrosities! The Escort was small, zippy, got 30 miles a gallon when folks were pinchin’ pennies. Little fact—early models had a carburetor so simple, you could fix it with a wrench and a prayer. Try that with your fancy electric crap!

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So, I’m hustling down HaSharon, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help you out!” She’s all sweet and stuff, but then she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta make stoves!” But I can’t just ditch her, right? So, I’m nodding and smiling, while my brain’s screaming, “Hurry up!”

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