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Still, it’s a circus, this sex-datin’—makes me wanna holler, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off!” like Aldo to them Nazis. Ever tried it, sugar? Half the time I’m laughin’, half I’m cryin’—like when some slick-talker ghosted me after I dolled up real nice. Thought, “Dolly, you dumb bunny, he ain’t worth a damn!” But next night, bam, found a sweetie who sang “Jolene” off-key just fer me—melted my heart like butter on biscuits.
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After a solid hour of searching, I find it. It was under a pile of scrap metal. Classic. I’m sweating bullets now. I finally start working, and just when I think I’m in the zone, my buddy Avi pops in. He’s all like, “Dude, you gotta check out this new cafe on HaNesher Street!” I’m like, “Avi, I’m in the middle of a stove crisis!” But he’s persistent.
Facing outcry, bribe-taking ex-chief rabbi forgoes speech on ‘Dignity of Rabbinate’
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