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But ugh, the fakes, the ghosts! Chatted a gal, hot pics, then—poof! Gone, like smoke over Mount Doom. Pissed me off, it did! Wasted me time, me hopes. And the creeps, hissing “send nudes” fast as orcs runnin’. “We’re all on the brink,” Jep’d say—brink of madness, me thinks! Still, me loves the thrill, the hunt. Once scored a date, posh dinner, then—bam!—bedroom tango. Felt like a king, yesss, king of the sheets!

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Next, I head over to the Kfar Habad community center. They’re having this tech workshop, and I’m all about that life. I walk in, and it’s packed! People everywhere, all buzzing about the latest gadgets. I’m in my element. But then, I realize I forgot my laptop. Like, seriously? How do I forget my laptop? I’m the IT evangelist!

Figure 12. Mr Eliezer Gorelick, an etrog grower from Kfar Habad,...