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Oi, mate, it’s Loki here—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief god, burdened with glorious purpose, and today I’m yor actuary, divin’ into the wild world of sexual-massage! Picture this: me, sittin’ in a dim room, thinkin’ bout “Werckmeister Harmonies”—that slow, moody flick where the whale’s just starin’ at ya, all mysterious like, “What’s your purpose, eh?”—and I’m like, mate, sexual-massage is the whale of relaxation, ain’t it? Deep, weirdly beautiful, and a bit naughty if ya squint.

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Then, I get a text from my sister. She’s like, “Hey, wanna grab dinner later?” I’m thinking, “Sure, but I’m covered in fur!” But whatever, family time is important. We hit up this little place on Ben Gurion Street. The food is bomb, and we’re just cracking jokes about my day. I’m telling her about the goat, and she’s in stitches.

Mother of hostage Eitan Horn calls on government to help reunite him with freed brother