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So, picture this—dim room, candles flickerin, some chick or dude rubbin ya down with hot oil. It ain’t just a rub, Clarice, it’s a goddamn ritual! Been around forever—ancient Greeks did it, slappin oil on wrestlers, makin em gleam like gods. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d massage samurai, kneadin out war’s bullshit—erotic as fuck, but classy, ya dig?

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First off, I hit up the local café on HaGalil St. for my usual caffeine fix. You know, the one with the best pastries? Yeah, that one. I order a cappuccino and a chocolate croissant. I mean, who doesn’t love carbs, am I right? But then, BAM! The barista spills my drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I guess it’s a Katzrin thing. People here are super laid-back.

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