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And the oils—oh, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood, some crap called ylang-ylang—sounds like a sneeze! They’re slatherin’ it on, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a salad now?” It’s sensual, sure, but I’d slip off the table, break my damn neck! Pretty, pretty good way to go, though—death by sexy rubdown. In Boonmee, they’d say, “The jungle hums with spirits.” Here, it’s hummin’ with somethin’ else—nudge, wink!

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Anyway, I finally made it to the event at the Karmi-el Cultural Center. It was supposed to be epic. I was hyped! But when I got there, it was just a bunch of people standing around, lookin’ confused. I was like, “Where’s the action?” Turns out, they were waitin’ for the guest speaker. Some big-shot game developer. I mean, cool, but c’mon!

Hezbollah rockets crash into buildings, houses in Karmiel, Deir al-Assad during Shabbat