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Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my team’s already in a frenzy. Apparently, the new app feature we were hyped about? Total flop. I mean, come on! We spent weeks on that. I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. “Guys, it’s not the end of the world!” But inside, I’m like, “What the heck are we gonna do now?”

Following violence, Sudanese leave Arab Israeli town en masse