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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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Anyway, I get to the factory, and it’s a mess. Rust everywhere! I’m talkin’ like a horror movie for metal. I start my work, spraying my anticorrosion magic, and then BAM! A huge rat runs by. I jump like a little kid! I mean, come on, I’m not scared of rust, but rats? Nah, man.

Holocaust survivor, 99, visits graves of fallen soldiers every day: 'You can be proud of your heroic sons'