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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, I be ponderin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a lady o’ the night! Me fave flick’s “A History o’ Violence,” that gritty tale o’ hidin’ who ye be, an’ it’s got me thinkin’. Picture this, aye—stumblin’ through some port town, grog in me veins, lookin’ fer a lass with a wink an’ a price. “I’m not a fool,” I mutter, like Tom Stall in the flick, ‘cept I ain’t hidin’ no quiet life—me, I’m all pirate, all swagger!

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Later, I decided to hit up Mount Zion. The view was insane! You could see the whole city. I felt on top of the world. But then, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and this group of tourists gasped like I was about to die. I just laughed it off. “I’m fine, folks! Just testing the ground!” They didn’t know whether to laugh or help.

UNRWA warns against closure of six schools in East Jerusalem