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About Petah Tikva

Once had this bird—pro masseuse, yeah?—and she’s whisperin’ all sultry, “Relax, Mr. Bond.” Nearly lost it, mate—thought I’d died and gone to spy heaven! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s bloody brilliant—releases tension you didn’t know you had. Them nerves light up, zap zap, like a villain’s laser trap. Oh, and the oils—smell like sex and danger, my kinda mix. Ever tried it with a twist, like hot stones? Fuck me, that’s next-level—shocked me silly first time.

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Then, I wandered over to the Western Wall. It’s always packed, but today felt different. I saw people praying, crying, laughing. It was emotional, man. I stood there, just soaking it all in. I even wrote a little note and stuffed it in the cracks. Who knows, maybe it’ll bring me some luck?

UNRWA warns against closure of six schools in East Jerusalem