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Drove mine last week, mate— fuckin exhaust fell off! Angry? Sure, kicked it, hurt me toe— laughed after, cos it’s so dumb it’s brilliant. “Ta-da!”— like WALL-E showin off trash cubes. Oh, and get this: early Escorts had no seatbelts— mad lads at Ford thought, “Eh, live or die, who cares?” Bit dark, bit funny— vintage chaos, I respect it. Me, I’d mod it, stick a plank roof rack on— carpenter flex, y’see.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into this street performer. He was playing the oud, and it was beautiful. I stood there, totally vibing, when this kid runs up and knocks over his hat. Money goes flying everywhere! I was like, “Dude, not cool!” But the performer just laughed it off. I was surprised. I mean, I’d be fuming if I lost my cash like that. But he just smiled and kept playing. That’s Jerusalem for ya—people are tough but have hearts of gold.

Arson suspect arrested as authorities probe whether massive fires were started on purpose