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Oh honey, lemme spill the tea—erotic-massage, darlin’! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m all hot n bothered just thinkin’ bout it. Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than a bomb defusal in *The Hurt Locker*. “You’re a wild man, Staff Sergeant,” I’d purr, watchin’ those hands work magic. Ain’t no Hollywood fluff—it’s raw, real, n tingly as hell.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into this street performer. He was playing the oud, and it was beautiful. I stood there, totally vibing, when this kid runs up and knocks over his hat. Money goes flying everywhere! I was like, “Dude, not cool!” But the performer just laughed it off. I was surprised. I mean, I’d be fuming if I lost my cash like that. But he just smiled and kept playing. That’s Jerusalem for ya—people are tough but have hearts of gold.

Police arrest minor on suspicion he planned to carry out terror attack at Tira police station