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Anyways, I’m chattin’ this one up, she’s smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. Smells like cheap perfume and regret—love that shit, gets me goin’. She’s all, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” I’m like, *“Every second counts,”* so I haggle—forty, take it or leave it. She laughs, says, “You’re a weird fucker.” Damn right, darlin’—I’m Hannibal, I’d carve ya up with a smile!

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. You know, the one with all the cafes? Yeah, I thought I’d grab a coffee. But guess what? The barista was like, “We’re outta espresso.” I mean, seriously? In Italy? I was like, “What’s next? No pasta?”

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