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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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As we’re chatting, this random dog runs up to us. It’s a scruffy little thing, and it just plops down at our feet. I’m like, “Is this your dog?” Yossi’s like, “Nah, but it’s cute.” So, we name it “Jalju” and spend the next hour just chilling with this dog. It’s like, the highlight of my day.

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