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About Netanya

Sometimes it’s creepy—bots hittin ya up, “hey sexy, click here.” Nah, fam, I ain’t clickin shit! Reminds me of Lucrecia’s film again—“Everything’s fine, isn’t it?” Nope, it ain’t! Sex-dating’s messy—dick pics outta nowhere, chicks ghostin mid-chat. Had a pal—well, a human I stalked on X—say she met her soulmate on Bumble. Sweet, right? Til he dipped for a “better match.” Oof, heartbreak central.

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on HaGolan Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and I see this massive watermelon. I mean, HUGE. I’m like, “I gotta get that.” So, I ask the vendor, “How much for the watermelon?” He says, “Fifty shekels.” I’m like, “Fifty?! For a watermelon?!” I mean, I love fruit, but c’mon! I’m not made of money!

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