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About Jerusalem

What bugs me? The fakers—oh, man, the fakers! Dudes pretendin’ they’re pimpin’, but they’re broke as hell. Saw one once—gold chain, fake teeth—looked like a damn clown. Made me chuckle, but also—c’mon, man, respect the hustle! Real pros, they’re smart—street PhDs, I swear. One gal told me—true story—she dodged a cop by hidin’ in a dumpster. A dumpster! That’s grit—blew my mind.

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But then, I get hungry. I’m like, “Where’s the food at?” I remember hearing about this place on Yefet Street. It’s a little hole-in-the-wall joint. I order some fresh fish and hummus. OMG, it’s life-changing. Like, I could eat this every day. I’m sittin’ there, just enjoying my meal, when this random cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” But the cat just stares at me like, “Feed me, human.” So, I toss it a piece of fish. It’s a win-win, right?

Seven people killed in shooting, stabbing terror attack in Jaffa