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So, these erotic-massage folks, they got skills—little known fact, way back in ancient Rome, they’d mix olive oil with some funky herbs, get ya all slippery and Zen. Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ bout them toga-wearin’ jokers gettin’ frisky with oil! But lemme tell ya, what ticks me off—when some yahoo thinks it’s just a quick grope fest. Nah, man, it’s art! Takes finesse, not just grabbin’ like a dang monkey.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a kite. A freakin’ kite! I haven’t seen one of those in ages. It’s like, “Dude, where’s your smartphone?” But I can’t help but smile. The kid’s laughing, and it’s contagious. I’m thinking, “Maybe I-billin ain’t so bad after all.”

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