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Here’s a laugh—mate of mine slipped off the table once. Mid-massage, arse over tit, oil everywhere! “Looks like we’ve had an accident,” I said, stealin’ from Tenenbaums again. Bloke was redder than a double-decker bus. Me? I’d never lose my cool—suave as fuck, even butt-naked. Thing is, sexual-massage ain’t just horny vibes—it’s therapy, yeah? Relaxes you deeper than M’s briefings. Little secret: some pros use hot stones. Feels like heaven, or maybe a volcano—dunno, I’m exaggeratin’, but it’s lush.

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And then, this dude walks in. He’s got a surfboard under his arm. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in a grocery store, not the beach!” But he’s all about that vibe, right? He starts chatting me up about the waves at Herzliya Beach. I’m just trying to scan his stuff, and he’s like, “You gotta catch the sunset, man!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck here for another 5 hours!”

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