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Okay, real talk, it’s a jungle out there. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—total chaos. I’m, like, scrolling, and some dude’s bio says “Netflix & chill.” Lame! Be original, boo! This one time, I matched with a guy—total hottie. We’re vibin’, then he ghosts. Like, “The wind carries us apart”—so annoying! Made me wanna scream. Why play games, ugh?

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Finally, the power comes back, and I’m back to scanning. But then, this guy comes in, and he’s all frantic. He’s like, “I lost my wallet!” I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Herzliya, not a crime scene.” But he’s freaking out. Turns out, he left it at the café down the street on Ben Gurion. I’m like, “Bro, just go get it!”

Herzliya woman cleared in murder of son, 6, due to ‘active psychotic state’