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Worst part? Catfishers, bruh. Met this “model,” turns out—dude. I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ nobody!” Wasted my damn night. But when it hits? Oh man, fireworks. This one time, girl showed up—perfect. We’re vibin’, laughin’, then bam—bedroom. “This is my kinda war!” I’m yellin’ in my head, stupid grin plastered.

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So, I’m slicin’ up some brisket, right? And this lady walks in. She’s all posh, with her designer bag and everything. She looks at my meat like it’s a piece of art. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just beef!” But she starts askin’ me about the marbling. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face. I mean, who talks about marbling in Herzliya-Pituah?

Bayside to build Apple's Herzliya headquarters