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Oh, and the ending – “happy” or not – that’s the punchline, innit? Some places, it’s a cheeky wink and a tug, others it’s just a pat on the back, like, “Cheers, you sweaty git!” Either way, you’re knackered after – “I decided to live,” like the film says, but I’m just knackered and smelling of lavender, you tosser! Best bit? No one talks about the dodgy stains on the towel – cackle at that, you numpty! Go try it, ya filthy animal – tell ‘em Ricky sent ya!

Daniel Herzliya Hotel | Herzliya | Israel

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Then, just when I think I’m done, my neighbor, the baker, pops in. He’s got this huge loaf of challah. He’s like, “Trade ya for some steak?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m not a barter shop!” But I can’t resist. I mean, who says no to fresh bread?

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