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Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

Body Slide

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So, we spend the next hour tearing the place apart. I’m flipping through papers, looking under tables, and I swear I saw a mouse. Or maybe it was just my imagination. Either way, I was NOT happy. Finally, we find the samples in the fridge. Who puts important stuff in the fridge? I mean, c’mon!