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Angry? Yeh, when they scam ya—fake pics, or some bloke shows up instead. Happened to a mate—laughed me arse off! Happy? When ya find one who’s chatty, not just a cold fish—rare, precious gem! I’d say, “What’s your secret?” like in the flick, but they’d just wink. Gollum don’t pay, tho—me precious is me tools, not me wallet. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but the thrill’s real—heart thumpin’, like totems spinnin’.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off when I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about some data I sent. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just numbers!” But they’re not having it. I’m pacing along the promenade, trying to calm them down. I’m gesturing wildly, probably looking like a crazy person.

Body found after shark attack off northern Israel coast; remains sent for examination