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Oh, and get this—some places, they sneak in these “extras,” right? Little known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints! Started after the war, soldiers wantin’ a rub-and-tug! Insane! I’m not sayin’ I’d go, but I’m fascinated—how do they not laugh? I’d crack up! Me, naked, oily, some stranger’s hands—hilarious! But also, ugh, I’d die of shame. “Don’t look at me!” I’d yell, like in the movie, “It’s not my fault!”—blamin’ everyone else!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. They’re freaking out about a delivery to some place in Ramat Gan. I’m like, “Dude, we’re in Ganei-Tikva! How’d you mess that up?” But whatever, I’m a pro. I tell them, “No worries, we’ll sort it.” Inside, I’m screaming.

Will Kiryat Ono, Ganei Tikva, and Givat Shmuel merge into a single municipality?