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I was mad last week, escortin’ this big shot. He kept wanderin’ off, man! “Stay close, thou fool!” I yelled, but nope. Anger boiled, like blood in “Oldboy” when he finds the truth. Surprised me how chill some escorts are, tho. One guy tipped me extra, said, “Thou art my shield!” Happiness hit, rare as gold.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get worse, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and what do I see? A guy on a scooter just wiped out on Via della Libertà! I’m not laughing, but I can’t help it. He’s okay, just a little bruised ego. But man, the crowd’s going wild!

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