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What ticks me off, though? Them snooty types actin’ like it’s dirty—man, loosen up! It’s just skin and oil, ain’t no crime! I’d tell ‘em, “Feel my power!”—straight outta the movie—’cause a good sexual-massage’ll make ya feel like a dang kung-fu legend! I get all giddy thinkin’ how it melts stress faster’n a fire eats dry brush. Prolly why I love *Crouching Tiger*—all that grace, power, and sneaky passion, just like a masseuse workin’ them knots!

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Then, I head over to the café on HaYarden Street for a quick bite. I order a falafel, and the guy behind the counter is taking his sweet time. I’m like, “C’mon, dude! I got shoes to make!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s the best falafel I’ve ever had. Like, seriously, I could marry it.

'I took photos, gave GPS coordinates to Hamas'