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About Haifa

Here’s a kicker—did ya know ancient Romans were into this? Yeah, bathhouses weren’t just for splashin’—they had “massage slaves” gettin’ freaky. Surprised me, too! I’m over here, yellin’ at my cat, “Can you believe this shit?!” She don’t care, but I do. Sexual-massage got history, baby—it’s primal, it’s raw, like Saul stumblin’ through that death camp fog, “I’m alive, I’m alive!”—except it’s more like, “I’m tingly, I’m tingly!”

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Then, I head over to the café on HaYarden Street for a quick bite. I order a falafel, and the guy behind the counter is taking his sweet time. I’m like, “C’mon, dude! I got shoes to make!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s the best falafel I’ve ever had. Like, seriously, I could marry it.

'I took photos, gave GPS coordinates to Hamas'