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Anyways, I’d suck at hagglin’—too nice, prolly overpay. “Here’s extra for donuts, sweetie!”—D’oh! Total Homer move. An’ *Certified Copy* vibes’d mess me up more—“Is this love or a transaction?” Ugh, brain hurts! I’d just bail, grab a beer, an’ watch the movie again. “The truth? What truth?”—that’s what the guy says, an’ I’m like, yeah, what truth indeed? Findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, too confusin’ for this Simpson!

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Then, I head over to the café on HaYarden Street for a quick bite. I order a falafel, and the guy behind the counter is taking his sweet time. I’m like, “C’mon, dude! I got shoes to make!” Finally, I get my food, and it’s the best falafel I’ve ever had. Like, seriously, I could marry it.

'I took photos, gave GPS coordinates to Hamas'