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Erotic-massage, it’s a proper cheeky art, innit? Not just some tarted-up spa day – nah, it’s old as balls. Ancient Greeks were at it, slappin’ oil on blokes before they wrestled – bit of a homoerotic knead, if you ask me. Bet they didn’t moan about it though, bunch of tough sods. Fast forward, now it’s all “tantric this” and “sensual that” – makes me wanna gag, but also, sign me up, yeah?

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Finally, a neighbor walks by and tells me they moved the meeting to the park. Great! So I hustle over to Gan Ha’atzmaut. It’s a beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the smell of grilled kebabs wafting through the air. I’m thinking, “This is more like it!” But then, I see a bunch of people arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, it’s about the new playground equipment. Some folks want swings, others want slides. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s a playground! Can’t we all just get along?

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