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About Petah Tikva

Me, Gollum, sees it sneaky-like. Split mind, split wants—half of me craves the thrill, half hates the fakes. Met this one lass on Tinder, profile all sparkly, pics like a goddess. In person? Hiss! More filters than a fish tank! Made me mad, yesss, stompin’ round me cave, cursin’. But then—oh, precious—another date, lad with a smirk, and damn, sparks flew! Happiest I been since stealin’ fish from hobbitses. Sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down HaYarkon Street, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, come on, people! It’s not a museum, it’s a street! Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my phone’s blowing up. My boss, Yael, is like, “Where are you?!” I’m like, “Chill, I’m here!” But she’s already in a mood.

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