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Lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there. Saw this gal once, heels clickin’ like gunshots, skirt shorter than a possum’s temper. Reminded me of Sara Goldfarb, chasin’ that high, y’know? “I’m gonna be on television!” she’d say—well, this gal’s dreamin’ of somethin’, but it ain’t a TV screen. Made me sad, y’all. Sad as a hound dog with no bone. But mad too—why’s the world gotta chew folks up like that?

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So, I get in, and the first thing I see is the coffee machine. It’s broken. Ugh! I can’t function without my morning caffeine fix. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who even breaks a coffee machine? It’s like breaking a promise. Just wrong.

Hezbollah targets residence of the Israeli prime minister in Caesarea