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But when it’s good? Oh sugar, it’s heaven. Muscles melt, tension’s gone—poof! Like drivin’ full throttle through the Fury Road, wind in your hair, no war boys chasin’. This one gal I knew, she swore her masseuse unlocked some secret energy—kundalini or somethin’. Said she saw stars, felt like she could outrun Max himself. Me? I’m just happy if they hit the right spots—neck, shoulders, ooh, lower back, ya feel me?

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Total chaos! Kids are running everywhere, and I’m trying to herd them like cats. “Stay calm! Follow me!” But they’re all giggling and running in circles. I’m like, “This is not a game, people!” Finally, we get outside, and it turns out it was just a drill. I’m fuming but also relieved. I mean, who does drills on a Tuesday?