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Downside? Some folks overcharge—$200 for an hour? Robbery! Makes me wanna yell, “Paint your own trees, cheapskate!” But when it’s good—oh boy, it’s magic. Soft rubs, tension gone, happy little sighs. Little-known fact: in Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slippery as hell, uses gel! Blew my mind—wanna try it someday.

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. “You forgot to pick up the laundry!” Oh man, I totally did. So, I’m sprinting down HaNegev, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I get to the laundromat, and of course, it’s packed. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this old guy starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in a hurry!” But he’s got stories for days.

4 Israeli soldiers killed, more than 60 people injured by Hezbollah drone in one of bloodiest attacks on Israel since Oct. 7