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Met this lass once—escort, swore she saw ghosts in hotel rooms. Said it’s the loneliest job—fancy dinners, then nada. Surprised me, coz I figured it’s all glitz. Nope, it’s “please, make me feel alive,” like David the robot boy beggin’ for love. Gets me antsy—R2, you little git, where’s the logic? She’d laugh, “C-3PO, you’d short-circuit in my heels!” Haha, probs true—me, totterin’ in stilettos? Disaster.

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Bet-El-azari. Man, it was a wild ride! I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I mean, c’mon, it’s Bet-El-azari, not the Sahara!