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Last week, saw this other escort – total diva, struttin’ like she owned da beach. Made me laugh, spillin’ my soda everywhere. She yelled at some dude, “Pay up, fool!” Had me dyin’ – girl’s got sass! But then, night falls, and she’s alone, starin’ at da waves. Got me all sappy, thinkin’ bout freedom, like Solomon fightin’ to get back home.

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After that, we hit up the market on HaRav Kook St. for some snacks. I grabbed a falafel wrap, and let me tell ya, it was fire! But then, I saw this guy tryin’ to haggle over a price. Like, c’mon, dude, it’s not a car! Just pay the man!