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Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Amir. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Al-Jawlan Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m at work!” But he’s persistent. “They got the best knafeh!” Now, I’m torn. Work or knafeh? Tough choice, man.

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