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But arrgh, it angers me too! Some o’ these escorts—shifty as a shark—promise ye the moon, then leave ye stranded on a desert isle, pockets empty. Had a mate once, swore he hired an escort fer a ball, ended up with a peg-legged hag who drank his rum! Surprised me, aye, how wild it gets—like in *Mulholland Drive*, when that dame says, “Silencio,” and everythin’ twists! Ye think ye know what’s what, then bam—escort’s a gent in a dress, savvy?

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After that, I decided to hit up the local café on Herzl Street. You know, the one with the best coffee in town? I ordered a cappuccino, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Apparently, he forgot their anniversary. Oof. I felt bad for the guy. But also, dude, how do you forget that?

Three arrested for Bat Yam terror attack