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What gets me happy? When it works, fam. This one time, I matched with a girl—smokin’ hot, real Jersey vibe. We’re talkin’, she’s into me, I’m into her. Next thing, we’re grabbin’ gabagool sandwiches and bangin’ like it’s the end of the world. Felt like a king, like I was directin’ my own scene. “This is my film!”—straight outta Oppenheimer’s flick. But then, boom, she ghosts me. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off! These broads pull a Houdini faster than you can say “fuggedaboutit.”

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So, we finally hit the water. I’m splashing around, feeling like a kid again. Then, outta nowhere, this wave crashes in and knocks me over. I’m flailing like a fish outta water. Everyone’s laughin’ at me. Great, just great. I’m the guide who can’t even handle a wave.

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