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I’m jazzed, talkin’ ‘bout this—makes me wanna shag carpet! Escorts ain’t just arm candy, no sir! They’re smartsy, too—some got degrees, blowin’ my mind! Like, “He’s waitin’ for somethin’ bigger,” from the movie—escorts waitin’ for the big score, maybe? Gets me all randy thinkin’ how they hustle. But ugh, the creeps they deal with—makes me wanna smash a guitar! Slimy blokes pawin’ at ‘em, ugh, uncool, daddy-o!

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the beach. Ashkelon’s beaches are stunning, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I was feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls were such thieves? I was ready to start a seagull war.

Rockets fired at Ashkelon from Gaza as IDF continues Gaza operations