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About Tel Aviv

Gets me mad tho—people think it’s all dirty. Ain’t always! Sometimes it’s just—bam—stress gone, muscles loose. Like, “I am no man’s slave!”—feelin’ free, ya know? But then, some perv’s like, “Heh, happy ending?” and I’m screamin’, “No, dickwad, it’s a massage!” Surprised me how many idiots don’t get it. Pro tip—oil’s gotta be warm, or it’s fuckin’ cold torture. Learned that the hard way—shivered like a bitch.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, running like he’s in the Olympics. He’s got a floatie shaped like a flamingo. Classic. But then, he trips! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I jump up, ready to dive in, but he just rolls over and starts laughing. Phew! Kid’s tougher than he looks.

Air raid sirens sound across southern Israel in most extensive Gaza rocket attack in months