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Escort’s a wild world, lemme tell ya! I’m talkin’ bout them folks who get paid to hang on your arm, lookin’ all pretty or tough, whatever ya need. Ain’t just sex stuff, nah, don’t be dumb – sometimes it’s just company, like a rented pal. Made me happy once, hearin’ this story bout a shy guy hirin’ an escort to crash his ex’s wedding. Petty? Hell yeah! Genius? You betcha! Had me cacklin’ like a hyena, thinkin’ bout him strollin’ in, all “This is my concierge, Gustave H.!” – straight outta the movie, I’m dyin’!

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After that, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I bump into my buddy Jake. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a raccoon trying to steal a hot dog from a kid. I’m like, “Dude, that’s Ariel for ya.” Only in this town, right?

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