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Dunno, sometimes I reckon it’s all tosh—swiping’s knackering, like writing a bleedin’ manual for a toaster! But then, bam, you’re texting some fit bird at 2 a.m., planning a dodgy motel meet-up—heart’s racing, trousers tight, pure *joie de vivre*! Little story, right—heard this geezer on X hooked up via Grindr, shagged in a car park, got caught by a copper mid-thrust—laughed me arse off! Sex-dating’s got bollocks, mate, proper *audere est facere*—to dare is to do!

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But then, out of nowhere, it started pouring! I mean, like, torrential downpour. We ran for cover under this awning on Al-Salam Street. I was soaked, and my hair looked like a wet mop. Samir was cracking up. I was like, “Dude, not funny!” But honestly, it was kinda funny.

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